Are Women empowering themselves too much to the point that they are dis-empowering men, perhaps even to domination and bullying?

Vanessa Jacqueline Dcruz

Motivational Writer

Recipient of “She Inspires Me Award 2020”

Global Ambassador, All Women Rock

Location: Singapore

Published at: Grace Ladies Random Thoughts Diary

Women were deprived of having power in the earlier years of their lives. Having power is a
prerogative whereby women can look at it as women empowerment. However, it took a
long time for them to find that power. The question is have they used their power properly? Power is genderless. Both men and women can abuse their power or use it in a good way.
Before we go into that, let us investigate what women empowerment is and how women were deprived of their power.

What is empowerment? Women will have different thoughts and perspectives on
empowerment. Various forms of empowerment women may perceive, for example,
writing a book, climbing up the corporate ladder, fighting for equal rights, organizing a beauty pageant, achieving a healthy lifestyle, being able to cook a sumptuous dish and becoming beautiful. Women have always been fighting for equal rights for pay, parenting & gender rights. How did women empowerment come about? Why must it be women empowerment and not men empowerment? One of the main reasons is land. Men wanted to own their land and they did not want women to do so. It all about power. If women had power, men were afraid to lose their rightful heritance and be controlled by women. Men concocted excuses that women
were too emotional & will not be able to make good rational decisions and when they had their PMS they were accuse of becoming hysterical. They attributed women PMS to something evil too. There were occasions where they were accused of being witches and burned at the stake due to their emotional behavioral swings during their PMS cycle.

All these events accumulated to a point where women were not be recognized for their
capabilities in being equal with men. All this changed when women earned their voting
rights. We have to thank the suffragists for this and when women took over men’s jobs when they went to war, they realized that they can do men’s work too and demanded they be treated equally as men and be given the same privileges as them. Women had won they hard fought rights. They have now the capabilities to do the same job as men and be paid equally. Power were given to them.

Jumping forward towards the 21st century, women are still fighting for their rights. For example, the pay gap between men and women are still not equal. Women are encouraged to lecture in the humanities field rather than the technical and science fields. Male professors are promoted faster than female professors. In USA, there is no paid maternity leave.
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However , women have been breaking grounds that were thought impossible for women to cross in their careers & personal lives. More women are climbing the corporate ladder,
joining political parties ,achieving greater parental gender equality, achieving higher qualifications & obtaining more civil rights and social justice. All these signals to an increase of power, self-esteem and responsibility.
If you watch the movie Spider-men, there is a famous saying ; with great power comes with great responsibility. Women with their new found power need to have a balance in attributing it.

They must not misuse it but like all humans, women, like men, can abuse the power they have. Unlike men, who has been used in having power in their hands, women maybe too eager to use their new found power because they have been oppressed for a long time and society owes them a great debt.
Women may become too bossy in their career and in the event cause her colleagues not to like her. If her morals are not right , she may apply scrupulous ways to climb up her career ladder. She may even spread her “scrupulous” ways to her protégé. If this is so, it can become a spreading disease.
Magrethe Thatcher did not fight for women rights when she went into power. In fact she took away some privilege policies that women were enjoying for economic reasons. Luckily there were unions run by ladies in Britain to fight for their work rights.

Women in her social life may show her power by drinking with men and even sleeping with them. Dominating men in bed is their pleasure and power. They may dress sexily & promiscuously ( not saying this is wrong but it is a way of portraying her power). Just  to take
note, men can get away and retain his dignity if he sleeps around, women may not or not be able too. Therefore, women please protect your dignity always. You may want to do whatever men is doing but society even though it may be matured and progressive, there are still many who believe the traditional ways in how a man and woman should behave.

I once brought up this subject at AWARE and knives were thrown at me. Women denied that
they will sleep around just to showcase her power, however , luckily I was defended by other women.
In the household, women may control their men and even inflict violence on them. Yes , men do suffer from domestic violence but the cases are rear though.
Do not bully others with your power and stand over them. You will create anger, frustration
and disharmony for yourself and others.

Therefore, how can ladies balance their power. They need to have the right moral values to that. With the right moral values, women can promote women empowerment properly for themselves and others. I believe that women empowerment is to empower themselves to have great self- esteem and also to help ladies at their lowest.

Dear ladies, when you want to watch a movie and your partner or husband do not like the movie or do not want to go with you, watch the movie by yourself. You need not have to ask permission from your husband or partner if you want to have an outing with your ladies friends. In respect, do let him know. Take a holiday by yourself, you need me time occasionally. If you can do these, then you have empowered yourself to have great self–esteem. This can also help you to decide whether to leave a relationship if you are in bad one.

Use your power to help other women rise also. Protect your women folk. If you know any women who are suffering from domestic violence and have a way to bring them out of it,
please do so. If you have the capability to create awareness talks on domestic violence , health problems and other social problems to help other women to empower themselves, please do so too.

Use your power to empathize with others. Understand the pain of others especially for the
LGBT community. If you own a company, employ them. If you are an educationist, educate those whose education may not be high enough. Give them a sense of self-worth in living. Therefore, there are women who use their power to dominate and bully others but if you have the correct moral values, you will use your power properly to make society a better one. Power is genderless. Both men and women can use their power to abuse. However, there is not much we can do if one does not change.

In these article, I hope I able to allow women to see who they are and what they have become. I want to women to better themselves. To know the true meaning of women empowerment and use it wisely. I also want them to change if they are going in the “wrong ” direction in making themselves better and misusing the power that they have.

Therefore, I leave you with this quote :-
“if you want to change, do it now and then change others. Live up to the good name of women empowerment and be praise for what you do”

Published by: Grace Ladies Organization Singapore

On 21st September 2020

Copyright 2020 Grace Ladies Singapore

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